We are both masculine and feminine

We are energy. Vibrations. In movement. And within us, we are composed of masculine and feminine energy. This is different from gender—we are all a combination of both, masculine and feminine, vital life energies that drive us and steer how we interact with the world.  

Masculine energy is built around structure, direction, and results. It is decisive, vast, and still. It provides a strong, solid container for situations, and allows the more fluid feminine energy to flow. Feminine energy, on the other hand, is emotional and creative. It feels deeply and adapts to situations, which tend to be structured, more masculine. One couldn’t exist without the other. 

We are a mix, and our own personal blend of energies depends on our backgrounds, our choices, our (un)healed traumas. These lead us to behave in a certain way, with one of our energies always presenting themselves stronger than the other. We are more masculine or feminine in certain contexts—have you noticed how you react to others, especially in challenging situations?

There is no right or wrong, and thankfully we are all different. Still, I believe we all stand somewhere on a masculine/feminine continuum. Some of us congregate more around the middle, while others feel more comfortable on the edges. The extreme edges, however, are where we go when we feel the need to overcompensate for something, when we feel threatened or scared. 

An extreme masculine energy often reveals itself as domination, while extreme feminine energy tends to show up as manipulation. Too much of these energies can become toxic, and depending on our reactions when we feel stressed or attacked, we either seek to overpower the situation (masculine domination), or shape it so it works better for us (feminine manipulation). 

How do you react when you’re pushed to the edges? I believe that being aware of where we stand on the feminine/masculine continuum is the first step in accepting ourselves as we are. 

Sometimes the context pushes us to be more one type of energy over the other, and we don’t have to be balanced in the middle somewhere. To reflect our need for both masculine and feminine energies, I like to use the example of a brainstorming session. 

Imagine yourself in a boardroom. First, we must determine the structure, or the container of the session. How much time do we have? What issues are we tackling? What specific, tangible results are we hoping to achieve? In this first part of the session, our masculine side takes the lead. Next, when we’re throwing out ideas, our feminine side takes control. To make the most of our brainstorming, we have to flow, bend, and adapt to as many unstructured, unpredictable ideas as possible. Feminine creativity is key, and this process won’t work if we approach it rigidly. Finally, it’s time to reign in our crazy ideas, give them structure, and select the ones that fit our established guidelines best. 

Here, it’s clear that one type of energy couldn’t thrive without the other. And the same is true for each of us as individuals, too. Sometimes it’s easier to notice how others react, and evaluate where they fall on the masculine/feminine energy spectrum. Are we judging them? Or are we really trying to understand why they respond or behave as they do? Trying to comprehend others from a masculine/feminine perspective provides valuable insight into how we, too, handle situations.

So what if you were to spend some time thinking about yourself for a while? How in tune are you with your masculine and feminine energies? Which side are you pushed to when you’re stressed? What about when you’re relaxed? 

Make note of when your masculine energy arises, and when your feminine energy shines through. What is the contribution of these energies to your work, to society, to what you’re doing? Dare to be ruthlessly honest with yourself, accept who you are, then watch what happens.

*Thanks to Cynthia Magana for the photo!